Happy?

Who...? What...? When...? Where...? Why...? ...and finally...How...?

I've been full of 'can't's lately. How come I can't do this. How come I can't do that? Just thoroughly beating down myself down.

I have also been full of nobody's. Nobody will let me do what I want to do.. or sometimes need to do.

But then I ask myself...how come I can't be happy? 

That's kinda a stupid can't when you think about it, but when I am full of 'can't's I can't be happy. And then I repeat it to myself.

Why can't I be happy? After a while it will start to sound like a pretty honest question.  How come I can't be happy? and why do I want to be full of nobody's? 



I have found that it's because I "can't" be happy.  When did I ever start believing those words?  I deserve better than that.

I can be happy.  In fact, ...I deserve to be happy! 

workth is a new word

workth: worth the work.

shake it off

yeah that sucked, shake it off.  enjoy knowing that you won't even feel that later.  Shake off the negative feeling, and you wont have negative memories later.  This will be just a blur your your happy life.  When you have only happy memories to rely on you will know you are a happier person.  shake it off.  It's workth it!

it's okay for today to suck

Oh yeah, today sucks!  But how difficult my challenges are today have no bearing on who I am or how happy I can be.  It's hard to not feel like a failure when a project fails, doesn't work, or gets turned down for not having any value.  That doesn't mean I don't have value.  That doesn't mean I should stop imagining.  That doesn't mean I'm not happy.  I can't let other people's opinions influence how I feel about myself. 

commit one day at a time

The best I can do is to commit to living one day at a time.  All I ask is that you trust yourself to be who you want to be today.  You can make it through today.  Just like you did yesterday.  If you feel that you could have done more-been more-accomplished more yesterday, are you acting in a manor today that you will feel the same tomorrow?  Why?  You don't have to any more.  Commit to yourself that you want to be a better person and start being that better person today.

When tomorrow comes, praise yourself for your accomplishments today.  You have made a positive life choice.  When you doubt yourself, accept that.  You CAN do it.  Struggling to believe in yourself will happen, but when you love who you are and who you have committed to be, you will begin to believe.  You can do it.

why is it so gosh darn hard to be happy?

I don't even know how to start. It's embarrassing to admit that I didn't know how to be happy; that I didn't feel I deserved it.  I'm not alone in how I feel, but we are all alone in our hearts.  I could never expect someone else to make me happy.  Yes, I had happy times and happy memories, but I was not a happy person.  How did that change?  I committed to myself that I wanted to be a better person.  Stop living in regret, and stop making making decisions for yourself based on what you think other people want you to be.  You are the only person limiting yourself.  Start being who you want to be.  Praise yourself, you have begun a new life - your life.