why is it so gosh darn hard to be happy?

I don't even know how to start. It's embarrassing to admit that I didn't know how to be happy; that I didn't feel I deserved it.  I'm not alone in how I feel, but we are all alone in our hearts.  I could never expect someone else to make me happy.  Yes, I had happy times and happy memories, but I was not a happy person.  How did that change?  I committed to myself that I wanted to be a better person.  Stop living in regret, and stop making making decisions for yourself based on what you think other people want you to be.  You are the only person limiting yourself.  Start being who you want to be.  Praise yourself, you have begun a new life - your life.